upon melting stars says:
AND I stepped on this rough piece of wood and now have these weird hole/slice in my foot.
- ₪۩۞۩₪ - 'Cos it cuts so deep to see myself wishing upon melting stars says:
--->
@#$% says:
Wow.
@#$% says:
That's pretty haggard.
- ₪۩۞۩₪ - 'Cos it cuts so deep to see myself wishing upon melting stars says:
It was pretty sore.
@#$% says:
I can imagine.
- ₪۩۞۩₪ - 'Cos it cuts so deep to see myself wishing upon melting stars says:
C'est la vie.
- ₪۩۞۩₪ - 'Cos it cuts so deep to see myself wishing upon melting stars says:
I think I should die or something.
- ₪۩۞۩₪ - 'Cos it cuts so deep to see myself wishing upon melting stars says:
'Cos I think I'd stop worrying then.
@#$% says:
About your foot?
- ₪۩۞۩₪ - 'Cos it cuts so deep to see myself wishing upon melting stars says:
Naw.
- ₪۩۞۩₪ - 'Cos it cuts so deep to see myself wishing upon melting stars says:
More serious things then that. o_O
- ₪۩۞۩₪ - 'Cos it cuts so deep to see myself wishing upon melting stars says:
Like going to go get tests done that I've delayed for a year and a bit, Tyler coming back from the ranch, patching things up with Kalyn, and then upholding a successful relationship with Tyler if he does still decide to like me.
- ₪۩۞۩₪ - 'Cos it cuts so deep to see myself wishing upon melting stars says:
And starting birth control, and waking up and benig an adult to myself for once
- ₪۩۞۩₪ - 'Cos it cuts so deep to see myself wishing upon melting stars says:
Instead of being one to everyone else.
- ₪۩۞۩₪ - 'Cos it cuts so deep to see myself wishing upon melting stars says:
Stop feeling superior to the inferior twats who think their toes hurt because their heart is aching.
- ₪۩۞۩₪ - 'Cos it cuts so deep to see myself wishing upon melting stars says:
And upholding a relationship with Amanda, who I just reconnected with today.
- ₪۩۞۩₪ - 'Cos it cuts so deep to see myself wishing upon melting stars says:
We saw Stardust, good movie.
- ₪۩۞۩₪ - 'Cos it cuts so deep to see myself wishing upon melting stars says:
And the start of school, being thrown into the pool of sharks.
- ₪۩۞۩₪ - 'Cos it cuts so deep to see myself wishing upon melting stars says:
Tossed by every glance like a seabird caught in a terrible storm.
- ₪۩۞۩₪ - 'Cos it cuts so deep to see myself wishing upon melting stars says:
Constantly watching my back in this state of fearless paranoia (don't ask), inevitably growing to loath everyone around me, using the counsellors to get my way, lying to myself and the people who try to get close me, encasing myself in layers and layers of thick, oily, leather, refusing to let the sharpest knife penetrate me.
- ₪۩۞۩₪ - 'Cos it cuts so deep to see myself wishing upon melting stars says:
I lived the summer in some wonderland where I was independant, had somewhere to go, had people to see, was welcome wherever I went.
- ₪۩۞۩₪ - 'Cos it cuts so deep to see myself wishing upon melting stars says:
Now it's back to being the underdog to everyone.
- ₪۩۞۩₪ - 'Cos it cuts so deep to see myself wishing upon melting stars says:
So, holy fucking shit I deserve a mental breakdown or something.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
Heart Swollen
Marina says that this is my safe house.
This is where I will be welcome, no matter how shit I feel or what I've done.
I am very grateful, so grateful I was in tears.
This is where I will be welcome, no matter how shit I feel or what I've done.
I am very grateful, so grateful I was in tears.
Monday, July 16, 2007
TomTom
The Fateful Fortune Cookie
July 16, 2007 - I just checked my Facebook account and checked my fortune cookie application. When it changed, it read "The one you need to meet is looking for you." I was like WHOA, mang, wtf? And THEN I went and looked around all over the place, trying to find the one that was looking for me. Lo and behold, the one place that is most obvious is MSN (where I never sign off, or leave alone for more than eight hours). So I look on my "other contacts" list and there's this weird name, something about the souls of fallen men and I'm all dude no, who is this bitch? So I talk to them, and for the longest time I had no idea who they were or where I had met them. Turns out Thomas is a 6'7 seventeen year old gay stripper at a mens club.
Yeah, I know.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Premadonna,
Coked out in the fauna,
Thinkin' about where she gon' go.
Psychic rocker,
Tripped out at the doctor,
Wonderin' where he might be.
And we're all fallen, fallen, fallen,
Angels.
And we're all callin', callin', callin',
For retribution.
But there ain't no sun beneath the soil,
And that's where our flowers grow,
Can't see no light, be it day or night,
Who knows, who knows, who knows?
Where we go, if it's up or down,
We never quite figure out,
Livin' in the night, be it dark or light,
Who knows, you know, we know.
Little catepillar,
Feasting 'pon the tea pillars,
Waitin' for his life to change.
And them doves,
Know where their peace lies, love,
But don't understand how to go.
But we're still crawlin', crawlin', crawlin', 'pon the
Soil.
Still bawlin', bawlin', bawlin', and the grand worms
Coil.
And there ain't no way in hell,
No way in hell we're gonna get out,
No way we're gonna get outta this hole,
Not this way, not that way, who knows?
And I'm just the ant eater sitting 'pon the hill,
Waiting for them ants, for them guts to spill,
Never quite figurin' out where I be.
Coked out in the fauna,
Thinkin' about where she gon' go.
Psychic rocker,
Tripped out at the doctor,
Wonderin' where he might be.
And we're all fallen, fallen, fallen,
Angels.
And we're all callin', callin', callin',
For retribution.
But there ain't no sun beneath the soil,
And that's where our flowers grow,
Can't see no light, be it day or night,
Who knows, who knows, who knows?
Where we go, if it's up or down,
We never quite figure out,
Livin' in the night, be it dark or light,
Who knows, you know, we know.
Little catepillar,
Feasting 'pon the tea pillars,
Waitin' for his life to change.
And them doves,
Know where their peace lies, love,
But don't understand how to go.
But we're still crawlin', crawlin', crawlin', 'pon the
Soil.
Still bawlin', bawlin', bawlin', and the grand worms
Coil.
And there ain't no way in hell,
No way in hell we're gonna get out,
No way we're gonna get outta this hole,
Not this way, not that way, who knows?
And I'm just the ant eater sitting 'pon the hill,
Waiting for them ants, for them guts to spill,
Never quite figurin' out where I be.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
The Two
The old man who lives on the hill has gotten used to seeing the sight of two women running. They are running to find each other, but always seem to miss one another by a small bit. Everyday, the old man will go to his deck in his chair-on-wheels and wait for them to pass.
One woman, she is yellow clad. The other woman, she is blue. Some days they will change clothing, and the one woman will wear red, and the other green. The old man will stare into the street. His grey eyes will reflect the morning light and turn them pink and rusty as he waits.
Today, he is wearing a grey jump suit and is riding his blue chair-on-wheels. It has a large bird hanging from the fender, and the grip on his turny-knob that directs his propulsion is vivid pink. The man represents the connection the women refuse to make, in his mind he is the only connection they have. The outsider who can spy the potential.
"Ah," Comes a voice from inside him.
On the horizon, the old man is watching as the first rim of the sun peaks out from between the mountains. To his left, the South, comes the one woman in her yellow outfit. He turns his head and looks to the right, just to make sure. As promised, the other woman is jogging down his long, long street in her blue outfit.
Both women have their iPod connected in their ears, he can hear the faint buzzing from some Rock'n'Roll tunes as they approach his house. The one woman runs on the right. The other runs on the left.
Both of them, both of them have done this for one year and three days. The old man has been counting. His birthday was on the first of January, it is now the third.
He is apprehensive as they pass each other. The old man is hoping they will at least look at each other.
The blue woman, she is staring straight ahead.
The yellow woman, she is staring at the ground.
The two, they never connect.
"Ah," He says to himself, "Maybe tomorrow," and wheels his chair-on-wheels back inside his patriotic American temple that his family rents out during the year to unsuspecting tourists.
One woman, she is yellow clad. The other woman, she is blue. Some days they will change clothing, and the one woman will wear red, and the other green. The old man will stare into the street. His grey eyes will reflect the morning light and turn them pink and rusty as he waits.
Today, he is wearing a grey jump suit and is riding his blue chair-on-wheels. It has a large bird hanging from the fender, and the grip on his turny-knob that directs his propulsion is vivid pink. The man represents the connection the women refuse to make, in his mind he is the only connection they have. The outsider who can spy the potential.
"Ah," Comes a voice from inside him.
On the horizon, the old man is watching as the first rim of the sun peaks out from between the mountains. To his left, the South, comes the one woman in her yellow outfit. He turns his head and looks to the right, just to make sure. As promised, the other woman is jogging down his long, long street in her blue outfit.
Both women have their iPod connected in their ears, he can hear the faint buzzing from some Rock'n'Roll tunes as they approach his house. The one woman runs on the right. The other runs on the left.
Both of them, both of them have done this for one year and three days. The old man has been counting. His birthday was on the first of January, it is now the third.
He is apprehensive as they pass each other. The old man is hoping they will at least look at each other.
The blue woman, she is staring straight ahead.
The yellow woman, she is staring at the ground.
The two, they never connect.
"Ah," He says to himself, "Maybe tomorrow," and wheels his chair-on-wheels back inside his patriotic American temple that his family rents out during the year to unsuspecting tourists.
Smooch.
Monday - Buddhist temple/beach.
Tuesday - Drinking At the beach for six hours, then playing soccer.
Today - Totally went to the pool.
Tomorrow - Totally going to farm.
Friday - No plans. T_T
Tuesday - Drinking At the beach for six hours, then playing soccer.
Today - Totally went to the pool.
Tomorrow - Totally going to farm.
Friday - No plans. T_T
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Pin.
So I am going to pretend to be sitting in a box,
I am pretending to be dressed in yellow rubber rain gear,
All I am knowing is that your mind is what I hear.
So far, my hair is but golden amber,
Wrought with white strands, here and there,
All of my thoughts surround me, up in the air.
My eye is a piano, playing in your cloudless sky,
I am playing for the angels, but I do not know why.
I am pretending to be dressed in yellow rubber rain gear,
All I am knowing is that your mind is what I hear.
So far, my hair is but golden amber,
Wrought with white strands, here and there,
All of my thoughts surround me, up in the air.
My eye is a piano, playing in your cloudless sky,
I am playing for the angels, but I do not know why.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Pickle
When saying goodbye was really goodbye, when the soul was saying au revoir to it's other half.
You knew, you just knew it.
You knew, you just knew it.
I should darn well think so!
it's useless to waste time trying to define love
love is love as love will be and there's nothing we can do to box it, change it, or make it suit our needs.
i know
it's a plague, it's a bar of candy, and it's the end of us all.
love is love as love will be and there's nothing we can do to box it, change it, or make it suit our needs.
i know
it's a plague, it's a bar of candy, and it's the end of us all.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
How to get lost.
I'm damaged stock, write me off with a big D stamped on my forehead and mail me to the junk yard. In the yard there'll be someone just as broken, just as hurt and lonesome, and we'll find something in common and make something so beautiful it seems whole.
I like the idea of that junk yard, though it seems a rather impossible feat when you think of how many things are fractured and not yet willing to create new merchandise.
Or, I could continue to lend myself wholly to others and watch my iridescent facade grow to a magnitude so large and so pompous that I seem as though I am truly happy, and I seem as though I am truly whole, and seem as though I am truly in love. Perhaps I will, indeed, let that facade grow so big, and so large, and so gargantuan, that I will appear to be self-confident, trust-worthy, and lovable.
I like the idea of that junk yard, though it seems a rather impossible feat when you think of how many things are fractured and not yet willing to create new merchandise.
Or, I could continue to lend myself wholly to others and watch my iridescent facade grow to a magnitude so large and so pompous that I seem as though I am truly happy, and I seem as though I am truly whole, and seem as though I am truly in love. Perhaps I will, indeed, let that facade grow so big, and so large, and so gargantuan, that I will appear to be self-confident, trust-worthy, and lovable.
Friday, May 18, 2007
You don't even know
What's it like being the only one under the sun,
Who can help herself by being the only one who's dead and gone?
How many of your species recover?
I don't know.
How many of your species take cover?
I don't know.
How many of you are there left?
I don't know.
How many of you haven't made it?
...
Who can help herself by being the only one who's dead and gone?
How many of your species recover?
I don't know.
How many of your species take cover?
I don't know.
How many of you are there left?
I don't know.
How many of you haven't made it?
...
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Little
Little drunk, little stoned,
Little pissed, little boned,
Little shits a little pwned.
Shut
The
Fuck
Up.
=)
Little pissed, little boned,
Little shits a little pwned.
Shut
The
Fuck
Up.
=)
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Let's stay strong, shall we?
People will say all sorts of things to start a scene.
People are just people, there's no need to fret.
People will blame and maim you,
But you'll stay on your feet.
People are just people, there's no need to fret.
People will blame and maim you,
But you'll stay on your feet.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Well I feel just like a child.
'Cos it's the blank space between what is and what has been,
And my head is through my chest, I better do my best,
I'm a life.
And my head is through my chest, I better do my best,
I'm a life.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Fuck you.
This shit is fucking unbelievable,
Your scene is fucking inconcievable,
I fucking hate it when you turn your cheek,
Then you have the nerve to fucking call me weak,
Am I so wrong to want to avoid being confronted,
When all my life I've been nothing but blunted,
I'm sick of having my heart tossed around,
Why don't you fucking take off your halo and come back to ground?
Your scene is fucking inconcievable,
I fucking hate it when you turn your cheek,
Then you have the nerve to fucking call me weak,
Am I so wrong to want to avoid being confronted,
When all my life I've been nothing but blunted,
I'm sick of having my heart tossed around,
Why don't you fucking take off your halo and come back to ground?
I need you to help me comb my hair
I'd like you to suture flowers to my skin,
I'd like you to rub poultice in my eyes,
I'd like you to touch my lights and grin,
I'd like you to chuckle and lay with me beneath the skies.
I need you to comfort my insecurity,
I need you to dress me in your gown,
I need you to make my blanket of empathy,
I need you to be there for me while I'm down.
And you could do whatever you wanted,
Any other day when you weren't around,
But right at that precise moment,
I want you earth bound.
I'd like you to rub poultice in my eyes,
I'd like you to touch my lights and grin,
I'd like you to chuckle and lay with me beneath the skies.
I need you to comfort my insecurity,
I need you to dress me in your gown,
I need you to make my blanket of empathy,
I need you to be there for me while I'm down.
And you could do whatever you wanted,
Any other day when you weren't around,
But right at that precise moment,
I want you earth bound.
I'm the one with head over heel..
Congratulations on being a U-ROC award recipient, Christine.
Christine is an outsanding youth in our community. Christine has overcome many challenges this past year and has done so with dedication, passion, and grace. Christine has worked hard to create change in her life and to look critically at decisions she makes. Christine has grown tremendously this past year and needs to be commended for the efforts she has made. We are very proud of you!
So why don't I fucking feel good?
Christine is an outsanding youth in our community. Christine has overcome many challenges this past year and has done so with dedication, passion, and grace. Christine has worked hard to create change in her life and to look critically at decisions she makes. Christine has grown tremendously this past year and needs to be commended for the efforts she has made. We are very proud of you!
So why don't I fucking feel good?
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