- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
rough timeline
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
born, cape town.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
nov 18 1990
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
scorpio
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
-nod-
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
see?
c=evil sa=cid aLhe=ad says:
Haha, your manner is so awesome
c=evil sa=cid aLhe=ad says:
Yes, i see
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i moved to botswana, i can't remember where right now, when i was six months old.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
moved to vancouver when i was four.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
travelled lots.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
attended preschool twice.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
once there, once here.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
kindergarten and first grade were spent in a religious school.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
st.augustines.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i didn't like it.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
the drive was too far.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i don't remember how i felt about leaving.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i had friends there.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
boys used to kiss me.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
grade two through seven were spent in a local elementary school, archiblad blair.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i was bullied.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i was easy to bother because i cared to the bone about everything that went on between students and in what i considered to be the world.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
which, at the time, consisted of racism, descrimination, and love of all people.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i didn't want anyone to be treated the way iwas.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i was even nice, not just civil, but i was kind to the people who were bullying me.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i used to play soccer at lunch with boys when i could
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
the rest of my time was spent making bracelets out of dead branches, wading through "lakes", playing island on a tree in a big "lake", eating sap fresh off of the trees, and playing sports.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
you see?
c=evil sa=cid aLhe=ad says:
i do
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i spent a lot of time trying to be friends with people who didn't like me.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
too.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i cried at my seventh grade graduation ceremony.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
like most people do.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i forgot to mention.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i used to swim.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i tought myself how to swim when i was one.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i'm a very good swimmer.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
water and i understand eachother.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i often dream of water.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i was on a team.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
come eighth grade.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
things slowly started unravelling for me.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i was in a new environment
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
new teachers
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
new people
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
it was exciting, at first.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
but slowly, people stopped liking me.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i had a crush on a few boys, and they had crushes on me.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i got invited to birthday parties.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i would have severe boughts of depression;.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i would lay in the field, no matter what temperature it was outside, and watch the clouds roll over the grass.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
thinking about how much easier life would be if i just ended it.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i used to imagine the vastness of space, and i could do it.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i could imagine something without any borders, without an end.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
and it fit.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
it fit into my head.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i used to think about how much nicer it would be for me to be in that space, perpetually.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
nothingness and all.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
you see?
c=evil sa=cid aLhe=ad says:

- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
come grade nine, these feelings of mine worsened.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i started cutting myself, and dressing what i presumed at the time to be gothicly.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
this is where things start getting fuzzy for me.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i've mulled over the details for a long time.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i can't get anything straight.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i can't attach dates, times, or years to much from this point on.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i blazed with my friend malaya for the first time that summer.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i didn't do it again until september.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
start of the tenth grade school year.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i met a girl named amy, she introduced me to danny.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
danny is now a heroin addict, expelled from his own gang, and i don't know where or how he is.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
he was still attending school at the time.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
amy and i started blazing at school together.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
it was fine with me.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i always got stuff for free.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
hell, i even got little mermaid on ice tickets in a draw at school once.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i also won tickets to a basketball game.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
and something else, i can't remember.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
you see?
c=evil sa=cid aLhe=ad says:
<3
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
amy invited me to stay the weekend with her at her house one day, i believe in september.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i obliged, quite happily, seeing as i finally had a friend and all.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
her and i ended up at a boy named ryans house.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
ryans whereabouts are currently unknown, no one knows what has happened to him.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
we blazed, and i was pretty stoned.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
amy, who at the time was a cocaine addict and i was completely unawares, told me that if i wanted to get higher i could do a line of cocaine for five bucks.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
this girl had reemed me for money, completely wrung me dry. i only had five dollars left in my wallet.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i obliged, and did cocaine for the first time that night.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
amy owes me 160 dollars, presently.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
we went back to her house, and after a half hour or so
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i found myself more depressed then i had ever been in my entire, short, life.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
she kicked me out of her house the next day and told me she never wanted to see me again.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i went home, with my tail between my legs, to my loving parents.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i couldn't tell them what had happened, i just couldn't
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
you can't just up and out with this sort of stuff.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
you know?
c=evil sa=cid aLhe=ad says:
Yes
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
are you still listening?
c=evil sa=cid aLhe=ad says:
Of course. Listening to you now makes me doubt ever listening to anyone else
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
amys whereabouts are unknown, as well. she went missing in december.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
people say she's in edmonton, some say she's still around here somewhere.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
on september 10th, i tried to kill myself
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i ground up forty of my anti-depressants, a full bottle of celexa, in my fathers coffee grinder. i mixed the powder with water, and i drank it.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
shortly after, i called my long distance love. his name was phil. and told him i was ending it.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
his voice cracked, that's about it. he had always said he'd call me back, he'd come see me, but he never - ever did.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
my parents were away watching the masters golf tournament. they love golf.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
eleven minutes after i drank my deadly concoction, i called 911 and told them what i had done.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
the dispatch lady was impressed that i wanted to get help, and the paramedics weren't holding anything against me.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i can't imagine how depressing it must be to them to pick up a fifteen year old girl whose trying to kill herself.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i spent the day in the hospital, alone.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
they made me drink bottles of charcoal, and put an iv in my arm.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
my stool was black for days.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
my parents came into the hospital at six oclock, having had their cellphones turned off at the tournament. it's mandatory.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
to find that their sweet, sweet christine had just tried to off herself and had been insisting that it wasn't her parents fault to various social workers and youth counselors who worked through the hospital all day.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
needless to say, that week at school i was a tad loopy.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
you see?
c=evil sa=cid aLhe=ad says:
i love it when you say that
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
on monday, i told my friend stephanie what i had done. she, in a typical melodramatic moment of idiocy, collapsed to her knees and started begging me to stay, screaming why, and bawling her eyes out.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i found it comical.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i thought to myself, how is it this girl cares more about me than i do?
c=evil sa=cid aLhe=ad says:
sounds it
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
from then on, my life consisted of pot and blow.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
anyday, anytime.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i really don't have dates for you now.
c=evil sa=cid aLhe=ad says:
dont need them
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
but, at some point i was invited to start attending nightshift.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
nightshift is supposed to be a local recreational group for teenagers in richmond, and takes place at several different community centers here.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
when really, it's a safe injection site.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i met the wrong people, more or less importantly the wrong person.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
the girl with the free crack cocaine, and cocaine.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
the boy who would always give me free speed.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
and the girl i would blaze with.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i had a system.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
every nightshift, i would depleat my resources.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
or, use them. rather.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
take advantage of what they had to offer.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
nightshift was only on weekends.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i only ever got to do blow and crack cocaine on weekends.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
it was frustrating.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i would fiend during the week.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i started spending money on ectasy.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i would pop ecstasy during the week, and do cocaine on the weekends along with whatever else i could get my hands on.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
it worked fine.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i was running on a fifteen dollar allowance, that's three caps.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
three caps was enough to hold me off for two days, at most.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i would go around at lunch, at school, and ask people for money for food.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i'd always come up with another five or ten dollars.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
if that failed, and it rarely did, there was the locker room.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i was cutting myself, using, and trying to impress my friends.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
two weeks before it happened, i was walking tight circles around trees to try to keep my mind from doing blow.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
the week before it happened, i was at north vancouver outdoor school counselling.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
it was not a fun week.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i looked haggard.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
you see?
c=evil sa=cid aLhe=ad says:
always and forever
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
friday, june 23rd 2006.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
the night.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i went to a bands night at the southarm community nightshift with a friend named sarah.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i hadn't intended on doing anything, i had a week to reconsider my actions outside of the city.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
sarah was doing e.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i thought, ah well, why not?
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i paid her for my cap, popped it without water, bought my ticket to the show and settled in for a good night.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i was moshing, dancing, and i was completely unaware of what was happening to my body.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i sat down next to a stranger who offered me another cap, i split it with sarah.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
my body was already trying to shut down.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i couldn't focus, my hands were shaking.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
my jaw was clenching uncontrollably.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i put my sunglasses on and they fogged up immediately, i took them off.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i tried to dial my moms number, it took me a few tries to get it right.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
when she picked me up, she looked weary.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
my entire side of the car had fogged up.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
you couldn't see through the windows.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i remember looking at the streetlights and thinking they were diamonds.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
my mother turned to me, and she said; "christine, do you need to go to the hospital?" i said yes.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i spent grand total five minutes in the waiting room, almost losing consious.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i entered the hospital with a heart rate of 180, and a temperature of roughly 102.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
they immediately tried to hook me up to an iv, but they couldn't find my vains.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
they tried on the top of my hand, the tried on the side of my hand, and eventually succeeded in the crook of my arm.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
you see?
c=evil sa=cid aLhe=ad says:
7
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
hm?
c=evil sa=cid aLhe=ad says:
go on
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
the nurses gave me a bottle of charcoal to drink.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
and i was given tongue supressors to chew on.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
my pupils were the size of the moon, i thought.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
you could hardly tell the color of my eyes.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
a woman walked by with long curly hair, and at first i thought she was carrying a zebra hand bag - then i realized she was carrying a cat - and then my mother told me she wasn't carrying anything.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i was beginning to hallucinate.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
a doctor came in. he told me that if my vitals didn't settle in the next half hour, my heart wouldn't be able to take it anymore. i would go into cardiac arrest, or i would start siezuring.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
my dad was standing at the end of my bed, he said to me; "look at what you've done to yourself, look! this is f'cking embarrassing."
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
my mom sent him home.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
a little bit later, an older woman who was a bit overweight came in via ambulance.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
she had just suffered a major heart attack.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i looked over to her bed, through the curtain.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
she suddenly exhaled, and the heart moniter stopped beating - it was a flat line.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i heard the nurse call the code, repeatedly, and a dozen hospital staff were at her side in what seemed like an instant.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i heard the sound of the flatline, and the sound of the panels as they tried to revive her.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i laughed.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i laughed at her.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i look back now, and i think that's the most upsetting thing about that night.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i laughed at an elderly woman dying, while in the bed beside her in an irresponsible fifteen year old girl with no respect for life what-so-ever.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
it's embarrassing.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
in the time my mom and i spent in the hospital together, i unravelled all of my secrets.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i had made my decision.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
it was now or never.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
my mom and i took a cab ride home.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
we disregarded the doctors advice that i should stay overnight, and go into a detox program the next morning.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i woke up the next morning, i couldn't stop shaking.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
my legs were bouncing, my eyes darting all over the place.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i couldn't concentrate on anything.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i sat down with my parents, and we laid out rules and a plan to get through this.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
and we did.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i cleaned my room that day, for the first time in my life. like really, actually cleaned it from top to bottom.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
my mom and i have that in common, when something traumatic happens to us - we clean.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
we are subconsiously trying to rid the place of anything bad that might have happened there.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
it took me six months to go near a mirror.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
a flat mirror.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
it took me eight months to stop preaching to my friends about drug addiction.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
it took me another week to figure out for myself that you really can't change other people.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
you can't mold them into perfect rolemodels for yourself, everyone will always make their own decision.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i know face a lifetime addiction.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i am a drug addict.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
in perpetual recovery mode.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i'm almost two years behind in school.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
i have very, very few friends.
- Sæglópur ... domiknitrix. 6046192529. says:
and i still battle depression.