Liar, weakling

I can't tell the difference between what's real and what's not,
This life of mine has taken all I've got,
Where will I be? How will I go?
What will I see? When will I know?

I used to think I had control over my small compromise,
Now it seems that what I had control over led to my demise,
Forgive me if I don't make much sense,
I can't think because my addiction is too dense,

All night forever I dream of my candy slipper,
Skies of the sea and streets changing hue,
Zebra hand bags turning to hair,
Long tendrils grasping the air.

Baggies in both hands and straws in my nose,
Mirrors laying on tables infront of me go,
Suck me dry I want your mind,
Time and time I find that it is their spell I want to bind.

How much longer will I last? These days they've got me thinking of my past,
How did time come to treat me so poorly?
I thought I did fine until I sought the dark orili.

She drew me in with calloused fingers,
I took comfort in that rough embrace,
Seeking anger to cover all my face,
I found I didn't have to deal with what lingered,
Beyond this tormented surface,
You will find a meadow, with elk and birds,
Where nothing murders and nothing hates,
Where there is a lonesome girl,
Who sits on a pedastool among the grass,
And whimpers silently as the sky above her is plagued by rats.

How could someone so harmless.. Come and pluck my harp strings so flawless.. Resonate the soothing sounds against my tormented soul.. Win my heart whom none have seen in years.. Cause me everytime we talk, to collapse in tears.

Is this not what I asked for all these months? A piece of love to hang onto? Perhaps I should have been more specefic in my requests, speaking more of something that would not end with so many pests.

- Christine

PS Tears come to my eyes but I know, I know I will never cry.